“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1” or “The Babysitter’s Club Goes Camping” by Matilda Dixon-Smith

Posted on December 18, 2010

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I have been looking forward to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. I’ve totally watched the trailer at least 5 times. In the end, I saw it twice; once with someone who had never read the books, and once with a mate who is an unabashed TOTAL FAN. The result was a vicious tug-of-war within my soul about the film…

A noseless-faced Voldemort with SMOULDER EYES

So, it’s almost the end of V-mort. It’s okay kids. I know you liked his nose-less face, so did I. He was super entertaining for all of SEVEN BOOKS. Despite the appeal of his snake-like visage and his LOL-sarcasm humour (nasty cynicism mixed with racist wizard jokes), the time has come for him to face up against Harry “The-Chosen-Boy-Who-Lived-You-Think-He’s-A-Babe-But-NO!!” Potter for the final time. In the books, Part 7 is the final chapter. In the film, they just had to be greedy and split it into two parts. HP7 PART 1: THE GANG’S BACK!!! Harry, Ron and Hermione say “s’laters” to their families and go off to hunt Horcruxes (for those of you FOOLISH enough not to know, Horcruxes are pieces of Voldemort’s soul interned in significant objects so he can’t die. Derrr!) Except they’re not entirely sure what the Horcruxes are, and there are these things called Hallows (=important!!). Also, there’s LOTS of sexual tension flying about and Ginny “Zip me up, Harry” Weasly is a SLUT. Wow, so much to deal with. Lucky we’re in our late teens – obviously angsty – so all of this makes sense.

See? SEE how awkward things are between them?

For the record, I actually really liked this movie. Some of it was touching (Hermione being all sad about Ron’s dud arm!!!). Some parts were horrifying  (Godric’s Hollow? Jeepers, what up with that town?? Seriously.) However, much of the film was just really teenage-LOL-worthy. Example: Harry and Hermione share a water bottle, Ron looks on in disgust, my mate says “it’s really awkward, they’re sharing saliva to show that they totally share saliva when they make out, like, all the time. Poor Ron!” All in all, total emotional-rollercoaster-business, with OCCASIONAL WAND-BATTLE. Good, good.

Harry, avoiding the tent, needing a hair cut...

We all know that Alfonso Curan’s Prisoner of Azkaban was the best film*; the only one to ever get Rowling’s ‘the growing-up experience, whimsy, and magic’. Despite this widely-supported fact (see *), in HP7 David Yates puts on a pretty groovy show. He certainly does a good job of FINALLY grasping the depth of human feeling– with HP7 he’s like “Wow, this is how peeps feel..? Uhm, okay, if you say so…let’s run with it!” There were occasions upon which I felt it necessary to curse “Harry, Ron, Hermione – chill the FLIP out. I know lots of bad stuff is going down, but you look MEGA GLUM and its kind-of ruining things for me!” Despite all this, I particularly enjoyed the Harry-Ron-Hermione awkward sex triangle (you totally know someone tried to have a go at her in that tent!!) I also LURVED the one-eared-George jokes, Dobby’s trainers, the Nazi/Communist army references and Daniel Radcliffe’s stubble. Alternatively – the many debates about whether Rupert Grint’s bulk was muscle or fat.

Let’s face it; we don’t watch the Harry Potter films for the story. If you do, you’ll be disheartened to find that Bill Weasly (reputed TOTAL BABE) is introduced in THE SEVENTH FILM as opposed to the 4th book. What to expect for HP7-P2? My favourite bit is going to be trying to explain the relationship between Grindelwald (who is he??) and Dumbledore. Have fun David Yates, I’ll bet even YOU can’t handle that, no matter how many cool and relevant Nick Cave songs you reference.

Enough scrutiny. I loved this movie. I loved the awkwardness, the sobriety and I SUPER loved playing catch-up on all the forgotten peeps and storylines. Also, you’ll TOTES reach almost-tear-point when Hermione “obliviates” the heck out of her parents’ memories, or when Hedwig gets killed by some MEAN death eater.

* You want proof? Christ, read a real film review. They all say it.

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Posted in: Movies